Western

Why don't polar bears get stressed? They always keep their cool.

“Dad, can you sign your name with your eyes closed?” – “I think so.” – “Great, close them and sign my school report.”

Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

What did the mole say about its holiday? “The hotel was a real hole.”

Why do bees hum? Because they've forgotten the words.

“How would you like your hair cut?” – “In silence, please.”

Knock knock. – Who's there? – Lettuce. – Lettuce who? – Lettuce in, it's cold out here!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.

What's a vampire's favourite fruit? A neck-tarine.

Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.

“How was the weather on holiday?” – “Great, it only rained twice. Once for nine days, once for five.”

Why did the phone wear glasses? It lost all its contacts.

One dog says to another: “My owner taught me to fetch sticks.” – “What did you teach him?” – “To throw them.”