Norfolkinsel

“Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!” – “Don't worry, sir, he won't eat much.”

What did the zero say to the eight? “Nice belt!”

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

What did one snowman say to the other? “Can you smell carrots?”

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

“One loaf, please.” – “Sorry, we've only got rolls left.” – “Fine, I'll take twelve and a bit of glue.”

Why was the calendar so popular? It had a lot of dates.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

“Mum, why does the giraffe have such a long neck?” – “Because its head is so far from its body, love.”

I gave my garden gnome the week off. He's standing in the shed pretending it's Spain.

What did one cloud say to the other on a grey day? “I feel a bit under the weather.”

I was going to tell you a joke about a blunt pencil, but it's pointless.

My flatmate said, “Buy a loaf, and if they have eggs, get six.” We now have six loaves.